You Aren't Unsure. You're Scared.

I posted an Instagram story recently talking about being in a headspace where I kind of wanted to create something, kind of wanted to take a nap, kind of wanted to just relax and do nothing.

There was some weird energy going on there. I felt indecisive, and unsure of where to go or what to do.

I’ve been doing some tough inner work this Fall and because of that I realized this wasn’t a problem of indecision, but rather a problem of resistance. More specifically, resistance to my intuition.

My intuition was telling me to go create. To grab some coffee, pop in the ear buds, drown out everyone else’s voice and create.

But I started asking myself - why was I feeling all of those other things? Why wasn’t my brain on board with my gut here?

And then it hit me:

I was feeling resistance, not to the act of creating, but to not having control of the process or outcome of that creation.

Those other things I wanted to do, take a nap, take a bath, eat a snack...all of those things were predictable, repeatable, and I knew exactly what I was getting into with them. I knew if I took a bath, I would be relaxed. If I took a nap, I would feel more rested. If I ate a snack, I would feel sated for a short period of time. I knew what the process of doing those things looked like. I knew how long they would take, where I would be, what would happen.

I had control.

But creating? Oh my goodness. That’s a freakin’ mixed bag of possibilities. It doesn’t work for me to sit down at my computer and say “I am going to write a blog post” and then actually write it. Or to say “I am going to finish my Plan to Plan Guide today” (which, spoiler alert is the first product that will be up for sale in the shop SOON).

This is actually why in the Plan to Plan process I am such a proponent for time blocking general types of activities from your to-do list versus committing to one specific thing on your list at a specific time.

Sometimes the things we want to accomplish, and the things that are actual progress-makers are the things we don’t have a whole lot of control over. They’re the scary, big things that we aren’t sure we can actually do, or how long they will take to accomplish. We aren’t sure what it will look like or feel like when we start doing them, or if they’re even possible.

I would argue that those things. The scary things. The BIG things. They’re the things most worth doing.

So the next time you feel indecisive about something, I want you to ask yourself this question:

“Am I feeling indecisive because I don’t want to do anything at all, or am I feeling this way because I don’t have much control over what it is I really want to do.”

Because most of the time, you aren’t unsure.

You’re scared.